Perfect teeth and inner peace might be nice, along with fewer wrinkles in my shirts and my so-called life.
I suppose I could even wear socks occasionally and maybe buy a watch.
My resolution for this New Year is to avoid resolutions altogether, leaving me free to suggest a few for the 2018 Mitsubishi Outlander Sport SEL I had recently.
Yes, that does indeed make me a hypocrite, but I’ll work on that in ’19 or ’20 – along with procrastination.
Hey, I just need a few dents popped out, a new coat of paint, a tune-up and better tires. Easy money, right?
Unlike me, though, the new Outlander arrives with an attractive, nicely shaped exterior that outshines many of its competitors and hints – we hope – of some sizzle under the hood.
It all started with a curved upper grille and graceful headlamps that gave the Sport presence without resorting to silly excess. (See Toyota, Honda and Nissan.)
A fairly long hood etched with character lines conveyed an image of power – or relative power in the case of a four-cylinder cute-ute that is the smallest model in the Outlander line.
Meanwhile, decent-sized 225/55 tires on 18-inch alloy wheels anchored the far corners of the body, while the rear flashed a semi-Euro truncated look — all pretty good stuff.
It got better. A curved top dropped down onto a lean body pulled tight by character lines high and low.
In back, large high-mounted taillamps wrapped around the hatchback, adding to the Sport’s contemporary vibe.
In fact, I think the Sport looks better than a Toyota RAV4 or Subaru Crosstrek.
I’ve got to tell you kids: Mitsubishi should resolve to provide more content for its attractive, well-designed container. Maybe lots more.
Although my Outlander Sport came equipped with the optional 2.4-liter four-cylinder engine, it struggled to be merely adequate – and that was in a vehicle that weighed just 3,300 pounds.
Whatever happened to the Mitsubishi that built turbocharged, fire-breathing four- and six-cylinder cars that would plaster you to the seat and steal your breath with the mere push of a pedal?
With 168 pretty weak-kneed horsepower, the Sport’s engine had to move roughly 20 pounds of crossover for each horse it could muster.
If that sounds akin to a two-horse stagecoach, consider this: The Sport jogs to 60 mph in a languid 9.5 seconds, according to Car and Driver, leaving it near the back of the subcompact-crossover pack.
Aggravating the power deficit was a continuously variable transmission (CVT) that felt dated compared with the belt-and-pulley units in Toyota, Honda, Subaru and Nissan vehicles.
While capable of jumping away from stops with a little burst of spirit, the engine and CVT quickly lapsed into abidingly average.
They sounded almost despondent under heavy throttle, moaning and braying as they loped along.
Those sweaty efforts appeared to affect fuel economy as well, with the four-wheel-drive Outlander registering just 23 miles per gallon in the city and 28 on the highway. (The Honda HR-V subcompact crossover is rated at 28/34 and is quicker than the Mitsubishi.)
The sleepy engine and irritating CVT are a shame because the Outlander rolls on a solid, contemporary platform with a decent suspension.
The feisty-looking crossover turned into corners with some enthusiasm and though the steering felt numb – as do the electric power-steering units on most modern cars — it seemed reasonably quick and well-weighted.
Like any tallish crossover, the Sport leaned some in curves but kept its composure and confidence, even delivering a pretty decent ride.
The Outlander Sport came up short again inside – a flaw hard to overlook considering the vehicle’s $29,000 window-sticker.
After all, inside is where drivers and passengers live – no matter how many alluring curves the exterior might flash.
Granted, the black interior in my Sport offered technology such as Apple CarPlay and Android Auto compatibility, dual USB ports and electronic brake assist.
It came cloaked in grainy, average-looking plastic evident in a deep dashboard that flowed around a large center stack and 7-inch display screen.
Likewise, the door-panels offered slightly pliable plastic on their tops and lightly padded armrests, but otherwise seemed formed of industrial-grade plastic.
Adding to my irritation with the interior was a stereo system that utilized touchpads for tuning – a distraction that seems at odds with all the safety equipment inside.
Although the seats provided decent support, their leather surfaces and perforated centers appeared pretty average – probably cheapened a little by the Sport’s somber gray headliner.
Still, the cargo area in back – a primary attraction with crossover-buyers — featured 22 cubic feet of space.
Moreover, leg- and head-room in back were fine as long as you’re altitude-challenged like me and under six feet tall.
Look, I really want to see Mitsubishi succeed and regain some of the market share it began losing 15 years ago. We need as many automotive choices as we can get, but if I can get a Honda HR-V or Jeep Renegade for about the same price, what exactly would attract me to the Outlander Sport?
Maybe Mitsubishi needs to dust off some of the performance parts from its rich past and give the Sport some real distinction.